Do Things Scared
Sometimes I like to flip through my journal and see what I was writing about just a few months ago. I like to see how my perception has changed, or in some cases, stayed the same. Today I felt inspired to revisit an old entry that resonated with me. Even though this was written over a year ago, the same theme remains true. So here’s a sneak peak into how I write in my journal…
“My energy shines through. I bring compassion, empathy, thought and, listening ears. I am stronger then I think most people can see. I’ve been told people can feel the positive energy that pours out of me. Others want to be around me because of that energy I bring, and that something special. I need to remember the empathetic, caring, welcoming person I am. In time, I will figure out who I am, what I’m most passionate about and what I am here to do. In time I will also meet people that will bring those things out of me. For now, I need to remind myself that I’m still young, I’m still learning so much about myself and thats okay! Every experience, job, person I meet is there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Being present will help me to see which is which and give me all the clarity I need. There is no time for dwelling on the unknown. Instead let’s replace that time with focusing on the small things I enjoy. One day the big things will show themselves, people who are meant for me will come out and I will be happy with the life I created for me! Life is about the experiences and what you take away from them. So do things scared. Put yourself into the uncomfortable. Don’t let this thing called anxiety control your decisions and take away from the experiences that are meant for you.”
A common theme for me last year was living in my anxiety instead of living with it. In other words, I often stopped myself from exploring new paths, mostly in friendships or work, because I was so scared of the “what ifs.” That’s ultimately what led to this journal prompt: me being ready to understand the strength I have when I choose to work through my anxiety.
Helping myself looked like simply doing. Staying present as much as I could. Not worrying about whether I’d be embarrassed or shut down.
Since I wrote this, about a year ago, I’ve opened myself up to things that once held me back. I started a new job (even though it’s not my dream career, I believe it’s a stepping stone). I met new people, hopefully new friends, through a book club. I traveled to the West Coast. I looked into grad school. And I started this blog, something I’ve talked about for so long!
Do I still have anxiety? Absolutely.
But the difference now is that I know I can live with it, not let it take over my life. I have the strength to get through the uncomfortable. I can do things scared and still enjoy this little life of mine :)